OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
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Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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