She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
