And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
