chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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