Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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