Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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