Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
