i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
