on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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