Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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