Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
