Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I think my moral compass just broke
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
