if you like me you must not know who I am
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Is it penis luge time yet?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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