You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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