dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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