She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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