She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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