Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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