I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
