I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize