Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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