I haven't been this sober since birth.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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