You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
