don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
