Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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