i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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