i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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