I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
