um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
