It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
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Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
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We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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