we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
