Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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