too bad you live with your parents still
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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