but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
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We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
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she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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