Bisexual people are plain selfish.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
