Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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