I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
