So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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