so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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