I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
