Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
