My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
