Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
