I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
God, you're like boner-b-gone
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
