you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize