You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
