i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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