last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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