ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
