i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Randomize
