I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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