Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
